


Ray Refilms Charlie And The Chocolate Factory For Roast Beef's Birthday

by FireKing



Series: Fakewood Storylines From Fire King And Tgies [2]
Category: Achewood
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-09
Updated: 2010-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireKing/pseuds/FireKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's pretty self-explanatory. I am Darth_Hipster, and tgies is A_Female_Ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ray Refilms Charlie And The Chocolate Factory For Roast Beef's Birthday

<Darth_Hipster> in my achewood fanfic ray refilms charlie and the chocolate factory for roast beef's birthday  
<A_Female_Ass> lmao  
<A_Female_Ass> but then the scary boat sequence reminds beef of a bad childhood memory  
<Darth_Hipster> yes  
<Darth_Hipster> yes  
<Darth_Hipster> that is what i was thinking  
<A_Female_Ass> dude we could basically make achewood you realize this right.  
<Darth_Hipster> "dogg you know how i am around boats and tunnels man it is just DISCONCERTING"  
<Darth_Hipster> beef is also weirded out by the scene where teodor eats the pill and blows up like a blueberry  
<A_Female_Ass> "Ain't never known you to be around a boat or a tunnel. Don't make up boating fears on the spot. A fool does that, Beef."  
<A_Female_Ass> yes  
<A_Female_Ass> it's somehow uncomfortably sexual? in a way that's impossible to place  
<Darth_Hipster> yes  
<A_Female_Ass> but that's mainly bc they let teodor direct it  
<Darth_Hipster> but everything regarding teodor is  
<Darth_Hipster> yes  
<A_Female_Ass> yeah  
<A_Female_Ass> and he lynched it up or something  
<Darth_Hipster> instead of chocolate the river in the place is made out of jack daniels  
<Darth_Hipster> and lyle gets stuck in the tube  
<Darth_Hipster> this was the most expensive film to scene because lyle kept drinking the entire river.  
<A_Female_Ass> the part of willy wonka is played by ray but he gets it sort of wrong and has kind of a colonel sanders slash The Music Man vibe going on  
<Darth_Hipster> yeah  
<Darth_Hipster> and he kind of accidentally raps Pure Imagination  
<A_Female_Ass> accidental raps  
<Darth_Hipster> ray kind of got lazy so he let todd and his friends be oompa loompas  
<Darth_Hipster> "Dude, you guys are already tiny people. This is going to save me so much time, Todd. We have A Thing going here."  
<A_Female_Ass> don't picture todd in an oompa loompa wig  
<A_Female_Ass> unless you're interested in a prompt death  
<Darth_Hipster> ray got Pat and Nice Pete to be Charlie and his grandfather  
<Darth_Hipster> this caused some friction when Ray told Pat to "just imagine some fucking golden tofu or a golden gay dude or whatever"  
<A_Female_Ass> what is phillippe  
<A_Female_Ass> he has to make sort of like a smash-cut appearance  
<Darth_Hipster> the kid who gets stuck in the TV  
<Darth_Hipster> oh uh  
<A_Female_Ass> hmm he could be that kid though actually  
<A_Female_Ass> or an additional oompa loompa  
<Darth_Hipster> no he kind of just wanders on set during filming  
<Darth_Hipster> "Why are you guys all in funny costumes? Is it...secret Halloween?"  
<A_Female_Ass> secret halloween is the best concept  
<Darth_Hipster> mr. bear abruptly replaces ray as willy wonka halfway through the film  
<A_Female_Ass> aaoaloalaal  
<A_Female_Ass> yes  
<Darth_Hipster> this is not adressed at all  
<A_Female_Ass> and that is For the Best.  
<Darth_Hipster> Molly is offended because she was not asked to be in it  
<Darth_Hipster> Ray was going to put Little Nephew in it but he is still in 16th century Wales  
<Darth_Hipster> Ray had forgotten that.  
<A_Female_Ass> the part of Little Nephew will Not be played.  
<Darth_Hipster> Ray gets Emeril to be the guy from the other company  
<A_Female_Ass> Hmm who is Vlad.  
<Darth_Hipster> Vlad gets fed up with the tour halfway through and leaves  
<A_Female_Ass> vlad has to be in it but maybe it's like, a part they made up for vlad  
<A_Female_Ass> yeah  
<A_Female_Ass> Pah!  
<Darth_Hipster> "Is no hot chicks in this factory! Pah! I find golden ticket for nothink! I spit on you, Villy Vonka!"  
<Darth_Hipster> meanwhile Lie Bot is in the background in every single scene  
<Darth_Hipster> but he has no speaking parts  
<Darth_Hipster> Ray and Teodor do not notice this until post=production  
<Darth_Hipster> an dthey just kind of leave it in  
<A_Female_Ass> actually vlad has to get offended bc willy wonka is not the industrialist vlad thought he was  
<Darth_Hipster> yes  
<A_Female_Ass> and his chocolate factory compares poorly to the chocolate factories of vlad's native land  
<A_Female_Ass> which are vast and Terrible  
<Darth_Hipster> "This factory is pebbles compared to my father's factory! Nothink but smaill pebbles!"  
<A_Female_Ass> vlad is actually mad IRL, it's not part of the script, he just kind of gets too into it  
<Darth_Hipster> yes


End file.
